A way in the desert

I have been struggling for a long time now with my sister's cancer and still wonder how it can be that in 2007, two of the people I love the most in my life were diagnosed with a life threatening disease.  I don't think I will come up with a reason why.  My sister's cancer is incurable and hospice has stepped in.  Her doctor has given her six months to live.  I can share that with you now because they have chosen to share their deepest fears on their blog and it is a gut wrenching blow to take in.  I do know that in life my faith will be tested by Satan.  The Bible says in Luke 22:31-32  "Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat.  But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers"
There are days when I feel just a glimpse of what Job went through when God allowed him to be tested by Satan.  I have to say that through all of this my faith has grown stronger, but I wonder how long God will allow these tests.  Is there a point where I can say I've passed with flying colors and I graduate?  I'm afraid as long as I have faith, it will be tested and that is the one thing I can't afford to lose.  My faith in God is what keeps me going every day.  It is the reason I live and the reason I was created.  I am doing a small group right now called "Chazown" discovering my life's purpose and one of my spiritual gifts is Faith.  I took this test over six years ago and faith was not one of my  gifts.  Our past experiences are part of what creates our purpose and develops our spiritual gifts.  My experiences have not depleted my faith but grown it abundantly and as Luke says I am to use it to "strengthen my brothers".  This is why I choose to write this entry.  I have really been struggling emotionally this week.  My sister's cancer and prognosis has been so difficult to handle because I love her so dearly and it brings a flood of emotions of what Eric and I went through and the grief of missing him comes to the surface often.  I also wish I had him here to share in my pain for my sister and her family.  To give me a comforting word or a hug I haven't had from him in so long.  My life is good, really and full with my kids and everything God is doing in my life, but I am just going through some desert times.  I am studying Isaiah in BSF right now and we have turned the corner in Isaiah 40 where the book goes from "afflicting the comfortable to comforting the afflicted" and I want to share some key verses that I read over last night again to refresh my faith and bring me comfort. 
Isaiah 40 starts out "Comfort, comfort, my people, says your God."
Isaiah 40:8 says the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.
A well known and often quoted passage is Isaiah 40:29-31: He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint. 
Chapter 41 reminds us of God as our helper, Isaiah 41:10 is one of my favorites:  So do not fear, for I am with you; do now be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strenghten you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 
Chapter 43 speaks to me deeply as it is Valentine's day today and God says "You're mine".  It says "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  When (not if) you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior... Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you."
The last verses I want to share with you are Isaiah 43:18-19:  Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
I wrote next to this verse in my Bible in June of 2007 "Eric ALS" and I saw that last night as I was reading.  I thought to myself, what did I mean by this and what does this mean to me now?   I think I was encouraged back then that our God can make a way in the desert because that is where I felt like I was then and again as I read this passage I am finding myself back in the desert today.  Nevertheless, I am encouraged that God can still do a new thing, am I seeing it?  He can recreate nature to make a river in a desert just for me.  That is encouraging!  I am still praying for a miracle for my sister because I know He is able to do that and more, but I am also clinging to the God of all comfort for my strength and my hope.   These verses speak to me and I am sharing my struggles, but these are for all of God's chosen so I hope you are encouraged as well and you know the God who is able to strenghten you. 
In Him,
Lori

From Streams in The Desert on Feb 12
"I believe that a day of understanding will come for each of us, however far away it may be.  We will understand as we see the tragedies that today darken and dampen the presence of heaven for us take their proper place in God's great plan- a plan so overwhelming, magnificent, and joyful, we will laugh with wonder and delight."  Arthur Christopher Bacon

"Chance has not brought this ill to me;
It's God's own hand, so let it be
For He sees what I cannot see.
There is a purpose for each pain,
And He one day will make it plain
That earthly loss is heavenly gain.
Like a piece of tapestry
Viewed from the back appears to be
Only threads tangled hopelessly;
But in the front a picture fair
Rewards the worker for his care,
Proving his skill and patience rare.
You are the workman, I am the frame.
Lord, for the glory of Your Name,
Perfect your image on the same.
selected"